Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
