Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
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