Got a toothbrush?
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
