I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Randomize
