i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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