who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
