Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
