does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
