He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
We are all done wearing pants today
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
