First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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