Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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