we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
