Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
