Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I just gargled with NyQuil
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
