im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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