elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
