am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
We don't watch enough power rangers
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
