i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
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