I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
You're a waste of cheezeits
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
