a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
