im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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