Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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