He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
