I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
