Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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