After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
