my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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