I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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