Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Randomize
