they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
