I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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