I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
