I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
