is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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