i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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