You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
it glows. i had to have it.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
