Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
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