That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
