my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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