I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
