Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
