I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
whose parrot is this?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
