Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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