this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
