my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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