no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
