how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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