he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
