i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I currently don't understand fingers.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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