That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
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