Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
