Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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