I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
