i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
even my farts smell like vagina
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
where are you?
Hypothermia
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
